I have a million things going through my head this week and feel like I may EXPLODE if I don’t do some blog-venting.
In the three and a half short (long) years that I have been known as “Mommy,” my role has changed about five times.
First, I was a teen mom. (Not to be confused with one of those girls on MTV.)
Second, I was a kinda-sorta-stay-at-home-mom-full-time-student. (Yeah, it was as exhausting as it sounds.)
Third, I became a single-working-full-time-student-Mom. (Also exhausting.)
Fourth, I became a non-single-almost-married-full-time-working-mom. (Still exhausting, but what part of parenting isn’t? It’s all worth it.)
Now, I’m a stay-at-home-Mom-and-wife. (And I am soooo thankful that I’m able to do so.)
I’ve been pretty much every type of mom there is at least once, so maybe that’s why I really, REALLY hate the so-called “Mommy-Wars” that exist between all of the “sides.”
There shouldn’t even be “sides.” Just Moms.
The SAHMs think the working moms choose to be away from their kids, the working moms think the SAHMs are lazy and sit around eating bonbons and watching shows on Netflix all day.
The crunchy moms think the silky moms are killing their children slowly with cow’s milk and crying it out, and the silky moms think the crunchy moms are just a bunch of hippies who walk around with their amber necklaces and milk-filled breasts preaching about knowing better and doing better.
Moms with more than one child think that moms with only one have it so easy, and moms with one think the moms with many are being overly dramatic because it can’t possibly be that hard, right? The Duggar’s have 19. They survived.
Me? I float around somewhere in the middle of each of these. I cannot stand to see a mom put another mom down because she is choosing to parent a different way.
Here are eleven Mommy-War comments that I’ve personally heard a mom say to another mom, and sometimes to me!
1) You’re not breastfeeding? You know how bad formula is, right? (Breast is best, sure. But it’s not always the BEST option for every mom.)
2) He sleeps in your bed? How do you and your Husband/Partner ever have sex?! (None of your damn business, that’s how.)
3) You circumcised him? How could you mutilate your perfect little boy like that? (Again, it’s not your business, so don’t ask.)
4) You DIDN’T circumcise him? Imagine how he’s going to feel in that locker room in fifteen years! (See number 3.)
5) You let her cry it out? Do you know how emotionally abusive that is to your baby? How will she know you love her? (CIO, when done the right way, helps some moms/babies establish a normal sleeping pattern. It’s not for everyone, and it’s not your business.)
6) You’re going back to work? Do you WANT to miss all of her biggest milestones? (Thanks for the salt in the wound.)
7) You’re a stay-at-home Mom? So what do you do all day? (Let me stop doing what I do for a week and show you.)
8) You’re a single mom? Why did you even have kids of you weren’t going to stay married/together? (Yes, someone really asked me that. Because clearly I PLANNED on becoming a single mom at 20.)
9) You’re a silky mom? So you knowingly let your kid(s) have cow’s milk/fruit juice/produce from WAL-MART? (God forbid he have those Walmart-apples.)
10) You’re home schooling? So you know your kid is going to be an introvert/weirdo right? (Or possibly brilliant from the one-on-one.)
11) PUBLIC SCHOOL? Do you want him to SURVIVE until eighteen? (I mean, algebra is hard…but not lethal.)
WHY do we as moms feel the need to belittle other moms for doing things differently? WHY is our way the only way?
WHY can’t we just end these Mommy-Wars and get back to raising all of our happy and healthy children?