15 Things to Never Say to a Young Mom.

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It’s no secret that I’m a young mom.

I’m always the youngest mom in the playgroup, youngest mom at the preschool, and the youngest of pretty much all of the mom-friends I’ve made since moving here. Now that I have a ring on my finger most assume that I’m older, and many are shocked when I tell them I’m just twenty-three. I can see them doing the mental math looking between my almost four year old and myself, and when they finish that math I can see the “ohhhhh” look spread across their faces as they realize how young I am now and how young I was when I had Aiden. Usually, they just brush it off or rapidly change the subject. Every once in a while, they say what they really think and it’s often pretty dang hurtful.

I’ve made a list of my “favorite” things that people have said to me in the over four years since I got pregnant with Aiden. Yes, these were actually said by REAL PEOPLE to ME!

1) Was he PLANNED? (Yes. By God.)

2) Do you know who the Father is? (Apparently being a young mom makes me a slut by default. I usually respond with, “well I have it narrowed down to three.” -Sorry Mom-)

3) Wow, your life ended before it really began. (Yeah, it’s hard sometimes, but I get to play with toys, go to playgrounds, and have an excuse to eat ice cream everyday. Not to mention, when he’s eighteen, I’ll be thirty-seven. Boom.)

4) There are much easier ways to “play house.” (So, first it was so hard, and now I’m just “playing house?”)

5) You’re just another statistic. (Don’t even have words for this one.)

6) Why didn’t you just get an abortion? (Why don’t you just get a hysterectomy BEFORE you accidentally reproduce. Thanks.)

7) Should have kept your knees together. (And you should keep your lips together.)

8) You’re such a great big sister to take your little brother everywhere! (I still get this one now, at 23. This week actually! Thanks to that lady for inspiring this post!)

9) Of course you’re stressed, you deserve it after the choices you’ve made. (……)

10) No one will ever marry a girl with this much BAGGAGE. (Whoops, guess Andrew missed that memo.)

11) It must be nice to just live off of child support. (HAHAHAHA!)

12) Guess you can audition for Teen Mom now. (No thanks.)

13) I’m sure your Mom will do most of the work for you. (She’s always been there for me, if that’s what you mean…let’s pretend it is.)

14) Girls like you are why our economy is failing. (I can see the headlines now: TEEN MOMS SINGLEHANDEDLY BRING DOWN THE U.S. ECONOMY.)

 

and last but not least…

 

15) You’re just setting your child up for a lifetime full of failure. There is no way you can provide everything he needs by yourself. You’re just a kid.

 

Why is it that in a country where teen pregnancy is so common, people tear these girls down instead of building them up? The odds and statistics are already stacked against them, so why make them feel worse? For me, my biggest motivation was when someone would tell me that I couldn’t do it. Not everyone reacts that way though.

Yes, some of them “brought it on themselves” because they wanted to “make him stay,” or audition for 16 & Pregnant. But more often than not, pregnancies at this age are an accident. Caused by failing birth control, breaking condoms, or a lack of KNOWLEDGE about birth control options. I don’t see anyone personally attacking the schools for not providing sex ed courses, or the parents of the girl for not having open communication with their daughter, or maybe the father of the child for being too embarrassed to buy condoms. My point is…

 

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. 

That girl that you are about to share your opinion with? She’s going to have it hard enough without you sharing your two cents with her, so if you don’t have something nice to say, do everyone a favor and just keep your mouth shut.

 

 

My PSA moment: TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX AND BIRTH CONTROL. Chances are, they’re going to “do it” whether YOU are ready or not. But make sure that THEY are. Check out http://thenationalcampaign.org/ for some information about talking to your kids. The National Day to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancies is May 7th!

 

 

Are you or were you a young mom? What was the most unbelievable comment you received from a friend, family member, or a stranger?

 

Getting to Know Me.

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Since I’ve recently gained so many followers (YAY!), I figured it was time for a “getting to know you” type of post. Here are thirteen things you may or may not know about me:

1) I believe in God. I have a great relationship with Him, but didn’t really establish that relationship until after Aiden was born. I don’t, however, attend a church regularly. I wouldn’t be opposed to it if I found the right fit.

2) Aiden saved my life. I was partying hard and making stupid choices when I learned I was pregnant. I stopped doing everything that I shouldn’t have been doing the moment that pee-stick said “positive” and never looked back.

3) I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. Yeah, I know what I said. I’m almost 24 years old, and I still waver between two career options. Right now, my plans are to go back to school and get my CNA/Doula certifications, and then go back to work doing that once Aiden starts kindergarten a little over a year from now. I’ve also considered both teaching and writing.

4) I’m writing a book. But I’ve changed the subject three times, and will probably change it at least once more.

5) I’m extremely indecisive. Whether it’s a blog topic, career choices, or just what to eat for dinner, chances are that I changed my mind multiple times before making a decision.

6) Moving to Cary was the most difficult decision I’ve ever made. And despite things rarely going as I plan, I would make the same choice again if given the chance.

7) I am addicted to espresso. It’s hard not to be after working in a cafe for almost five years.

8) My heart lies with working close to special needs children/adults. Spending three summers volunteering at Camp Barnabas taught me so much about life, and things about my relationship with God that I can’t even find the right words for.

9) I desperately want to travel to Africa. I was going to go in Summer 2010 to intern at an orphanage in Uganda, but those plans changed when I learned I was pregnant.

10) I want to be a foster parent/adopt older children…eventually. It doesn’t matter their background, ethnicity, or age. It’s just something I’ve always felt led to do. But that’s wayyyyy in the future, at least in my plans.

11) Some of my favorites are…Color: Teal, Food: Popcorn, Book: Harry Potter Series, Movie: TOO MANY, TV Show: Grey’s Anatomy..since 2004, Holiday: Christmas.

12) I’m an Alpha Delta Pi… til the day I die <> ❤

13) I’m mildly very obsessive. I have two color-coded calendars, one planner and one dry erase, and compulsively make lists for everything from spring cleaning to groceries. My closet is also (usually) arranged by color. No shame. 

 

So, there are thirteen things about me! Any questions? Comment below!

 

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For more frequent Aidenisms, follow me on Instagram @taydellac

DIY Melted Crayon Valentines

This year was my first attempt at making Valentines for Aiden’s class, something I’ve looked forward to since he started preschool!

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Not bad for my first try! 🙂

 

 

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11 Things Moms Should NEVER Say.

I have a million things going through my head this week and feel like I may EXPLODE if I don’t do some blog-venting.

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In the three and a half short (long) years that I have been known as “Mommy,” my role has changed about five times.

First, I was a teen mom. (Not to be confused with one of those girls on MTV.)

Second, I was a kinda-sorta-stay-at-home-mom-full-time-student. (Yeah, it was as exhausting as it sounds.)

Third, I became a single-working-full-time-student-Mom. (Also exhausting.)

Fourth, I became a non-single-almost-married-full-time-working-mom. (Still exhausting, but what part of parenting isn’t? It’s all worth it.)

Now, I’m a stay-at-home-Mom-and-wife. (And I am soooo thankful that I’m able to do so.)

I’ve been pretty much every type of mom there is at least once, so maybe that’s why I really, REALLY hate the so-called “Mommy-Wars” that exist between all of the “sides.”

There shouldn’t even be “sides.” Just Moms.

The SAHMs think the working moms choose to be away from their kids, the working moms think the SAHMs are lazy and sit around eating bonbons and watching shows on Netflix all day.

The crunchy moms think the silky moms are killing their children slowly with cow’s milk and crying it out, and the silky moms think the crunchy moms are just a bunch of hippies who walk around with their amber necklaces and milk-filled breasts preaching about knowing better and doing better.

Moms with more than one child think that moms with only one have it so easy, and moms with one think the moms with many are being overly dramatic because it can’t possibly be that hard, right? The Duggar’s have 19. They survived.

Me? I float around somewhere in the middle of each of these. I cannot stand to see a mom put another mom down because she is choosing to parent a different way.

Here are eleven Mommy-War comments that I’ve personally heard a mom say to another mom, and sometimes to me!

1) You’re not breastfeeding? You know how bad formula is, right? (Breast is best, sure. But it’s not always the BEST option for every mom.)

2) He sleeps in your bed? How do you and your Husband/Partner ever have sex?! (None of your damn business, that’s how.)

3) You circumcised him? How could you mutilate your perfect little boy like that? (Again, it’s not your business, so don’t ask.)

4) You DIDN’T circumcise him? Imagine how he’s going to feel in that locker room in fifteen years! (See number 3.)

5) You let her cry it out? Do you know how emotionally abusive that is to your baby? How will she know you love her? (CIO, when done the right way, helps some moms/babies establish a normal sleeping pattern. It’s not for everyone, and it’s not your business.)

6) You’re going back to work? Do you WANT to miss all of her biggest milestones? (Thanks for the salt in the wound.)

7) You’re a stay-at-home Mom? So what do you do all day? (Let me stop doing what I do for a week and show you.)

8) You’re a single mom? Why did you even have kids of you weren’t going to stay married/together? (Yes, someone really asked me that. Because clearly I PLANNED on becoming a single mom at 20.)

9) You’re a silky mom? So you knowingly let your kid(s) have cow’s milk/fruit juice/produce from WAL-MART? (God forbid he have those Walmart-apples.)

10) You’re home schooling? So you know your kid is going to be an introvert/weirdo right? (Or possibly brilliant from the one-on-one.)

11) PUBLIC SCHOOL? Do you want him to SURVIVE until eighteen? (I mean, algebra is hard…but not lethal.)

WHY do we as moms feel the need to belittle other moms for doing things differently? WHY is our way the only way?

WHY can’t we just end these Mommy-Wars and get back to raising all of our happy and healthy children?

Christmas Crafts & Treats

Crafts
I decided to attempt a Pinterest-inspired project knowing full-well it could end up featured on the next “Pinterest Fails” article. Much to my surprise, it actually turned out fairly well for a first attempt!

You’ve seen the wreaths made from Christmas ornaments? Here’s my attempt, step-by-step.

You will need: a glue gun, foam wreath, and an abundance of ornaments. I got mine from the dollar tree, overall I spent about $10 to make this wreath.

It was very simple, choose a spot on the foam, and start gluing. I removed the little metal piece from the top, pressed it into the foam, and then hot glued around it.

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Then continue to fill in with ornaments of different shapes, sizes, and colors until the foam is completely concealed.

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*Optional*
I chose to add our initial. You don’t have to add this, I just liked it!

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Finally, tie on some ribbon (or even make a giant bow if you’d wish) and then you’re ready to hang!

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Next, here’s a couple of crafts I did with my students for Christmas:

-Clear glass ornaments, easy to find at any craft store, Walmart, or Target.
-Choose a color of paint, or multiple colors, and squirt dime sized drop inside of the ornament.
-Shake the ornament (be sure to hold a paper towel over the top…hot mess.) until the paint is spread throughout the inside of the ornament.
-Have your child (or yourself!) use their thumb to make prints all over the outside of the ornament. Can be colored or white.

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-Once the paint dries, take a sharpie and draw on the lines to connect each fingerprint bulb!

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-Finish it off with the name of the child and the year and voila!

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Another one of my favorite easy projects with my students, Abstract Christmas Trees.

You’ll need:
-Green rectangular strips of paper
-Red construction paper cut into various shapes
-Orange or yellow construction paper for the “star.”
-Glue that dries clear
-Glitter

Angle the green strips to create a zigzag Christmas tree. Have the kids cut random shapes out of red paper, and glue them on as ornaments, and then cut an orange or yellow shape as the star.
Drizzle the glue on in a zigzag, and sprinkle on glitter as “tinsel.”
This was such an easy and cute project that the kids loved!

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I have a few more crafts that I would like to post, BUT they are also Christmas gifts, so I’ll post them right after Christmas! 🙂

Treats

Now, for some treats. Three of my favorite holiday goodies are peanut butter blossoms, my Grandmother’s fudge, and simple vanilla cupcakes tailored to the current season.

Taylor’s Peanut Butter Blossoms

48 Hershey Kisses
1/2 cup shortening
3/4 cup JIF Creamy Peanut Butter
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup packed light brown sugar
1 egg or egg whites
2 tablespoons milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

1. Heat oven to 375°F.
2. Mix shortening and peanut butter together.
(Tip: Spray your peanut butter measuring cup with non-stick cooking spray. This makes it slide out, and ensures you don’t miss any peanut buttery deliciousness!)
3. Add 1/3 cup granulated sugar and 1/3 cup of brown sugar; beat until fluffy. Add egg, milk and vanilla;mix. Stir together flour, baking soda and salt; gradually beat into peanut butter mixture.
4. Roll dough into 1-inch balls. Roll in granulated sugar; place on ungreased cookie sheet.
5. Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until lightly browned (mine took exactly 8 minutes). Immediately press a chocolate into center of each, and place into the fridge to cool!

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Grandma’s Fudge Recipe

4 cups sugar
12 oz. evaporated milk
1 cup butter
12 oz. semi-sweet choc. chips
1 (7 ounce) jar marshmallow creme
1 cup walnuts, chopped (optional)
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
2 tsp. vanilla extract

1. Mix together sugar, evaporated milk, and 2 sticks (1 cup) butter in electric skillet at 250 degrees until comes to a boil.
2. Time and stir for 10 minutes.
3. Unplug skillet.
4. Add chocolate chips, stirring until smooth.
5. Add marshmallow creme and stir until smooth.
6. Add walnuts, peanut butter and vanilla and mix well.
7. Pour into greased 9×13 baking pan.
8. Cool and cut into small serving pieces.

[I haven’t made this one yet-will tomorrow- but I’ll post it once I do!]

Simple Vanilla Cupcakes

For Aiden’s Christmas party, I made Christmas Tree Cupcakes!

Ingredients:
2/3 c. butter, soft
1 3/4 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
3 c. flour
2 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 1/2 c. milk

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350°.
2. Line a muffin pan with cupcake liners.
3. In a large bowl mix butter, sugar, eggs, and vanilla until light and fluffy. Beat eggs in one at a time. Combine dry ingredients. Stir into batter alternately with milk.
4. Spoon into prepared muffin cups.
5. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes in preheated oven.

Icing:

2 oz (60g) butter, softened
3 cups confectioners sugar, sifted
2 tbsp milk
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
A dash of salt

Preparation:

1. Whip butter in an electric mixer on medium speed for about 8 minutes or until it becomes creamy.
2. Pour in rest of the ingredients and continue blending them on low speed for a minute, then change the speed and keep mixing for another 6 minutes or until the mixture becomes light and fluffy. You can also add food coloring.

I used a flower tip to pipe on the tree design!

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The kids seemed to approve! 🙂

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Finally, a little laugh to leave you with 😉

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Merry Christmas from the Della-Colettas!

Weeeeeeeeeee! -Buddy

Missed posting yesterday since I was a bit under the weather, so I figured I would do a double post today! 🙂

 

Yesterday, Buddy made a zip line that ran across the living room with ribbon and a candy cane that he swiped from our tree 🙂

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Every time Aiden left the room, Buddy slid a little further down the zipline. He never gets caught!

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Then, he landed on the tree, where he stayed until bedtime!


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Today, Buddy got into Mommy’s markers again!

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Apparently D0gD0g (Aiden’s stuffed dog lovie) isn’t very good at TicTacToe. He only won once! Aiden couldn’t get over the fact that DogDog snuck out of his room while he was sleeping!

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Buddy was lectured again for using Mommy’s markers without asking. He took it like a champ. 😉
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Elves Like Chocolate Too.

Buddy got into Aiden’s advent calendar and chocolate stash this morning!

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But he saved today’s piece just for Aiden!

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And another passive aggressive “list” reminder for Mommy.

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Aiden’s reaction the Buddy eating his chocolate, summed up in a photo:

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