A Mom’s Thoughts While Grocery Shopping

Yesterday, I took my four-year-old and a one-year-old to the grocery store. I normally save these trips for weekends or evenings when my Husband is home and I can go kid-free. This time, pregnancy cravings forced me to go on a mad hunt for a cocktail shrimp ring and cinnamon toast crunch midday. This despite a max of four hours of sleep the night before due to pelvic pressure and round ligament pain from the apparent dinosaur baby residing in my uterus. This is my story:

Grocery cart

Not a single parking place, this is a great sign. How badly do I want that cereal? Badly enough. OOH THERE’S ONE. BEAT THE OTHER GUY. #WINNING.

MOMMYYYYY WE HAVE TO GO INSIDE AND FIND A BIG BUGGY! 

That’s cool, I’ll just turbo waddle through the parking lot, heavy baby on my hip, maternity pants sliding down awkwardly, and holding the four-year-old’s hand all while simultaneously praying that he doesn’t let go and that this store is out of the Cadillac-esque buggies. YES! THEY ARE OUT! THERE IS A GOD!

Looks like they are out of the big buggies, Bubba. (cue whine commencement.) Oh darn, now how am I going to make my three-display-destruction-per-trip quota.

MOMMY LOOK!

Oh, THANK YOU SO MUCH (other Mom exiting store) for giving us yours. I sincerely hope your kids force you to listen to a Yo Gabba Gabba soundtrack the whole way home.

Okay, get in, get what I came for, get out….OMG CHRISTMAS STUFF IS UP….NO. Focus.

Mommyyyyyyy, can we go look at the Christmas stuff?? Absolutely, after I get a few other things! Well, at least I can blame him now.

Oooh, there are the shrimp rings. Yes! I wonder how many people are judging me? Let me just poke out my belly a little extra, then they will understand. Well, at least the women.

Okay…cereal aisle…cinnamon toast crunch, get in mah belly. No, Bubba we don’t need Lucky Charms…Yes, Mommy is getting cereal…we don’t need more than one kind today…Because, the baby wants it…Fine, just put them in the buggy. Why does he always have such valid points? He’s four.

Ooh, we need milk, and cheese sticks, and yogurt, and why did I come here hungry? Where’s the wine aisle? Oh yeah, pregnant. Grape juice it is.

Let’s just go look at the Christmas things now. Oooh the crafty things! Don’t even go there, Taylor. You’ll never get out of here. Okay, how do I get there without passing the toy aisle…

TOYSSSSSS MOMMY WE HAVE TO LOOK SO I CAN WRITE MY LETTER TO SANTA TODAY. 

Crap.

I want that one. Okay. And that one. Okay. And this one too. We’ll see. I’ll just ask Santa. You go right ahead.

I just want to get to the Christmas section already. 

Okay, Mommy. Let’s just go look at Christmas stuff now! Did he just hear me think that?

Push that button, Mommy! (cue obnoxiously loud version of a moose singing Jingle Bells.) People are starting to stare. One-year-old is starting to fidget. Even she’s embarrassed at how loud that dang moose is.

Push that button too, Mommy! Pleaseeee!! Last one, Bubba. (cue obnoxiously loud snowman version of Winter Wonderland.) Seriously? Now I remember why I don’t buy these things. 

Okay, Bubba. Let’s go. BUT WHY? Because the baby is crushing Mommy’s pelvis when she walks. WHAT’S A PELVIS? Mommy’s buttbone. He’s crushing Mommy’s buttbone. I’ll regret that one later. 

Okay, find a check out line. We’re almost out. Can I have skittles? No, you don’t need skittles. Can I have tic-tacs? No, you don’t need tic-tacs. Remind me to thank Nini again for getting him hooked on those. Why are you so mean, Mommy? I know, mean, mean Mommy trying to keep your teeth from rotting out. What was I thinking? Crap, now who is he talking to now? Why doesn’t he understand stranger-danger?

…and my name is Batman and I’m four years old. My mommy has a baby in her tummy and he’s a boy and his name will be ‘Ass-er Charies.’ He will come out of Mommy’s bellybutton but right now he’s crushing her buttbone. She told me so. That’s why we’re leaving. Oh, and because I probably have to go poop soon because my farts smell like tacos.

Oh. My. God.

Okay, Bubba. Now that you’ve told the man way more than he ever needs to know, let’s go.

Okay! You can call my Mommy and talk about it some more! Her number is 9…OKAY, AIDEN. LET’S GO.

BUT MOMMY HOW IS MY NEW FRIEND GOING TO CALL ME…..(cue Mommy waving goodbye at the poor, unsuspecting man who just wanted to buy his trashbags and beer in peace and running out the door.)

I am never coming here again. Ever. Husband is doing all the grocery shopping from now on. I’m done. All I have to do is get these kiddos buckled in and it’s home for naptime. 

No, we’re not going to McDonald’s. No, we’re not going to Chick-fil-a. No, we’re not going to Subway.

WELL WHAT AM I GOING TO EAT?

Lucky Charms. PB&J when we get home.

THAT DOES NOT SOUND YUMMY! Everyone comfy and ready? 

Aaaaaand, I forgot the milk.

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Superhero Cupcakes.

Aiden’s class celebrated his summer birthday today, and he of course wanted superhero cupcakes. I attempted to make these for his birthday last year, and failed. (They were brown.)

How to make them without making them turn brown? Start by finding my go-to recipe for cupcakes here. Once you have your batter, split it into four bowls. Add your food coloring. You will need A LOT (especially the red) to get vibrant, bright, bold colors. I’m not exaggerating. Unless you want pink, then have it your way!

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Add a dollop of each color to each wrapper. DO NOT TRY TO MIX OR FLATTEN THEM. This is how you end up with brown poopcakes. They will settle while baking and will NOT be lumpy.

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See?

Now add your icing and sprinkles!

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Then top with two-stickers-stuck-together-on-a-toothpick-Superhero toppers. (These were a hit, and super easy! Made them while the cupcakes baked.)

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They were also delicious!

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Happy (almost) Birthday to Aiden!

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Oh, did I mention that NJATM is now officially http://www.notjustanotherteenmom.COM?! So stoked. Thanks for being such great followers!

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Coming soon to NJATM, my personal review of doTerra essential oils!

Have a product you want me to review and write about? Email me at NATMBlog@gmail.com!

Easter Bunny Cupcakes

For Aiden’s class Easter party, I made Peter Cottontail Cupcakes!

Here is my go-to recipe for vanilla cupcakes:

Ingredients:
2/3 c. butter, soft
1 3/4 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
3 c. flour
2 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 1/2 c. milk

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350°.
2. Line a muffin pan with cupcake liners.
3. In a large bowl mix butter, sugar, eggs, and vanilla until light and fluffy. Beat eggs in one at a time. Combine dry ingredients. Stir into batter alternately with milk.
4. Spoon into prepared muffin cups.
5. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes in preheated oven.

Icing:

2 oz (60g) butter, softened
3 cups confectioners sugar, sifted
2 tbsp milk
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
A dash of salt

Directions:

1. Whip butter in an electric mixer on medium speed for about 8 minutes or until it becomes creamy.

2. Pour in rest of the ingredients and continue blending them on low speed for a minute, then change the speed and keep mixing for another 6 minutes or until the mixture becomes light and fluffy. You can also add food coloring.

I also obviously used Peep Bunnies and jellybeans for the “eggs.”

Super easy and super cute!

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Elves Like Chocolate Too.

Buddy got into Aiden’s advent calendar and chocolate stash this morning!

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But he saved today’s piece just for Aiden!

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And another passive aggressive “list” reminder for Mommy.

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Aiden’s reaction the Buddy eating his chocolate, summed up in a photo:

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Elf Diary 3: Elf on the Swing?

Apparently Buddy got into my craft stash last night and made himself a swing using my ribbon, and a toilet paper roll!

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Buddy also wrote Aiden (who has been EXTRA…ummm…three-year-old-ish the last few days) a note reminding him to be NICE! And to make a Christmas list so that Santa’s helpers…aka the Grandparents… will leave Mommy alone! 😉


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By the way, if you decide to try this one, you need some weight inside the TP roll to counter the weight of the elf’s head. These seashells worked perfectly, and Aiden couldn’t see them from his angle.

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Elf Diaries: Day 2

I’m not sure if Aiden was more concerned about the fact that Buddy colored on his face, or the fact that Buddy was holding Mommy’s markers. (Aiden isn’t allowed to touch them after a certain hallway wall re-decorating fiasco.) Either way, day two was successful…so far!
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Elfin’ Around.

Our Elf on the Shelf “arrived” this morning. He brought candy, a letter from Santa, and a book to introduce himself!IMG_8239

SOOOO blurry, but I couldn’t help but post the reaction.

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Why yes, Santa-Mommy did make up this poem very quickly late last night. (It was a hit-Go me!)

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And, our elf FINALLY has a name. Buddy is officially a (creepy-ish) member of the family.

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I may not post every day in December, but I will post every day’s elf shenanigans. Not sure if Aiden is more excited, or if I am! 🙂