A Mom’s Thoughts While Grocery Shopping

Yesterday, I took my four-year-old and a one-year-old to the grocery store. I normally save these trips for weekends or evenings when my Husband is home and I can go kid-free. This time, pregnancy cravings forced me to go on a mad hunt for a cocktail shrimp ring and cinnamon toast crunch midday. This despite a max of four hours of sleep the night before due to pelvic pressure and round ligament pain from the apparent dinosaur baby residing in my uterus. This is my story:

Grocery cart

Not a single parking place, this is a great sign. How badly do I want that cereal? Badly enough. OOH THERE’S ONE. BEAT THE OTHER GUY. #WINNING.

MOMMYYYYY WE HAVE TO GO INSIDE AND FIND A BIG BUGGY!ย 

That’s cool, I’ll just turbo waddle through the parking lot, heavy baby on my hip, maternity pants sliding down awkwardly, and holding the four-year-old’s hand all while simultaneously praying that he doesn’t let go and that this store is out of the Cadillac-esque buggies. YES! THEY ARE OUT! THERE IS A GOD!

Looks like they are out of the big buggies, Bubba.ย (cue whine commencement.)ย Oh darn, now how am I going to make my three-display-destruction-per-trip quota.

MOMMY LOOK!

Oh, THANK YOU SO MUCH (other Mom exiting store) for giving us yours. I sincerely hope your kids force you to listen to a Yo Gabba Gabba soundtrack the whole way home.

Okay, get in, get what I came for, get out….OMG CHRISTMAS STUFF IS UP….NO. Focus.

Mommyyyyyyy, can we go look at the Christmas stuff??ย Absolutely, after I get a few other things! Well, at least I can blame him now.

Oooh, there are the shrimp rings. Yes! I wonder how many people are judging me? Let me just poke out my belly a little extra, then they will understand. Well, at least the women.

Okay…cereal aisle…cinnamon toast crunch, get in mah belly. No, Bubba we don’t need Lucky Charms…Yes, Mommy is getting cereal…we don’t need more than one kind today…Because, the baby wants it…Fine, just put them in the buggy.ย Why does he always have such valid points? He’s four.

Ooh, we need milk, and cheese sticks, and yogurt, and why did I come here hungry? Where’s the wine aisle? Oh yeah, pregnant. Grape juice it is.

Let’s just go look at the Christmas things now.ย Oooh the crafty things! Don’t even go there, Taylor. You’ll never get out of here. Okay, how do I get there without passing the toy aisle…

TOYSSSSSS MOMMY WE HAVE TO LOOK SO I CAN WRITE MY LETTER TO SANTA TODAY.ย 

Crap.

I want that one. Okay. And that one. Okay. And this one too. We’ll see. I’ll just ask Santa. You go right ahead.

I just want to get to the Christmas section already.ย 

Okay, Mommy. Let’s just go look at Christmas stuff now!ย Did he just hear me think that?

Push that button, Mommy! (cue obnoxiously loud version of a moose singing Jingle Bells.) People are starting to stare. One-year-old is starting to fidget. Even she’s embarrassed at how loud that dang moose is.

Push that button too, Mommy! Pleaseeee!!ย Last one, Bubba. (cue obnoxiously loud snowman version of Winter Wonderland.) Seriously? Now I remember why I don’t buy these things.ย 

Okay, Bubba. Let’s go. BUT WHY? Because the baby is crushing Mommy’s pelvis when she walks. WHAT’S A PELVIS?ย Mommy’s buttbone. He’s crushing Mommy’s buttbone. I’ll regret that one later.ย 

Okay, find a check out line. We’re almost out. Can I have skittles? No, you don’t need skittles. Can I have tic-tacs? No, you don’t need tic-tacs. Remind me to thank Nini again for getting him hooked on those. Why are you so mean, Mommy? I know, mean, mean Mommy trying to keep your teeth from rotting out.ย What was I thinking? Crap, now who is he talking to now? Why doesn’t he understand stranger-danger?

…and my name is Batman and I’m four years old. My mommy has a baby in her tummy and he’s a boy and his name will be ‘Ass-er Charies.’ He will come out of Mommy’s bellybutton but right now he’s crushing her buttbone. She told me so. That’s why we’re leaving. Oh, and because I probably have to go poop soon because my farts smell like tacos.

Oh. My. God.

Okay, Bubba. Now that you’ve told the man way more than he ever needs to know, let’s go.

Okay! You can call my Mommy and talk about it some more! Her number is 9…OKAY, AIDEN. LET’S GO.

BUT MOMMY HOW IS MY NEW FRIEND GOING TO CALL ME…..(cue Mommy waving goodbye at the poor, unsuspecting man who just wanted to buy his trashbags and beer in peace and running out the door.)

I am never coming here again. Ever. Husband is doing all the grocery shopping from now on. I’m done. All I have to do is get these kiddos buckled in and it’s home for naptime.ย 

No, we’re not going to McDonald’s. No, we’re not going to Chick-fil-a. No, we’re not going to Subway.

WELL WHAT AM I GOING TO EAT?

Lucky Charms. PB&J when we get home.

THAT DOES NOT SOUND YUMMY! Everyone comfy and ready?ย 

Aaaaaand, I forgot the milk.

Click here to follow me on instagram for daily posts onย life with Aiden & his soon arriving brother, “Ass-er.” ๐Ÿ™‚

Christmas Crafts & Treats

Crafts
I decided to attempt a Pinterest-inspired project knowing full-well it could end up featured on the next “Pinterest Fails” article. Much to my surprise, it actually turned out fairly well for a first attempt!

You’ve seen the wreaths made from Christmas ornaments? Here’s my attempt, step-by-step.

You will need: a glue gun, foam wreath, and an abundance of ornaments. I got mine from the dollar tree, overall I spent about $10 to make this wreath.

It was very simple, choose a spot on the foam, and start gluing. I removed the little metal piece from the top, pressed it into the foam, and then hot glued around it.

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Then continue to fill in with ornaments of different shapes, sizes, and colors until the foam is completely concealed.

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*Optional*
I chose to add our initial. You don’t have to add this, I just liked it!

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Finally, tie on some ribbon (or even make a giant bow if you’d wish) and then you’re ready to hang!

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Next, here’s a couple of crafts I did with my students for Christmas:

-Clear glass ornaments, easy to find at any craft store, Walmart, or Target.
-Choose a color of paint, or multiple colors, and squirt dime sized drop inside of the ornament.
-Shake the ornament (be sure to hold a paper towel over the top…hot mess.) until the paint is spread throughout the inside of the ornament.
-Have your child (or yourself!) use their thumb to make prints all over the outside of the ornament. Can be colored or white.

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-Once the paint dries, take a sharpie and draw on the lines to connect each fingerprint bulb!

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-Finish it off with the name of the child and the year and voila!

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Another one of my favorite easy projects with my students, Abstract Christmas Trees.

You’ll need:
-Green rectangular strips of paper
-Red construction paper cut into various shapes
-Orange or yellow construction paper for the “star.”
-Glue that dries clear
-Glitter

Angle the green strips to create a zigzag Christmas tree. Have the kids cut random shapes out of red paper, and glue them on as ornaments, and then cut an orange or yellow shape as the star.
Drizzle the glue on in a zigzag, and sprinkle on glitter as “tinsel.”
This was such an easy and cute project that the kids loved!

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I have a few more crafts that I would like to post, BUT they are also Christmas gifts, so I’ll post them right after Christmas! ๐Ÿ™‚

Treats

Now, for some treats. Three of my favorite holiday goodies are peanut butter blossoms, my Grandmother’s fudge, and simple vanilla cupcakes tailored to the current season.

Taylor’s Peanut Butter Blossoms

48 Hershey Kisses
1/2 cup shortening
3/4 cup JIF Creamy Peanut Butter
1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/3 cup packed light brown sugar
1 egg or egg whites
2 tablespoons milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

1. Heat oven to 375ยฐF.
2. Mix shortening and peanut butter together.
(Tip: Spray your peanut butter measuring cup with non-stick cooking spray. This makes it slide out, and ensures you donโ€™t miss any peanut buttery deliciousness!)
3. Add 1/3 cup granulated sugar and 1/3 cup of brown sugar; beat until fluffy. Add egg, milk and vanilla;mix. Stir together flour, baking soda and salt; gradually beat into peanut butter mixture.
4. Roll dough into 1-inch balls. Roll in granulated sugar; place on ungreased cookie sheet.
5. Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until lightly browned (mine took exactly 8 minutes). Immediately press a chocolate into center of each, and place into the fridge to cool!

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Grandma’s Fudge Recipe

4 cups sugar
12 oz. evaporated milk
1 cup butter
12 oz. semi-sweet choc. chips
1 (7 ounce) jar marshmallow creme
1 cup walnuts, chopped (optional)
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
2 tsp. vanilla extract

1. Mix together sugar, evaporated milk, and 2 sticks (1 cup) butter in electric skillet at 250 degrees until comes to a boil.
2. Time and stir for 10 minutes.
3. Unplug skillet.
4. Add chocolate chips, stirring until smooth.
5. Add marshmallow creme and stir until smooth.
6. Add walnuts, peanut butter and vanilla and mix well.
7. Pour into greased 9×13 baking pan.
8. Cool and cut into small serving pieces.

[I haven’t made this one yet-will tomorrow- but I’ll post it once I do!]

Simple Vanilla Cupcakes

For Aiden’s Christmas party, I made Christmas Tree Cupcakes!

Ingredients:
2/3 c. butter, soft
1 3/4 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
3 c. flour
2 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 1/2 c. milk

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350ยฐ.
2. Line a muffin pan with cupcake liners.
3. In a large bowl mix butter, sugar, eggs, and vanilla until light and fluffy. Beat eggs in one at a time. Combine dry ingredients. Stir into batter alternately with milk.
4. Spoon into prepared muffin cups.
5. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes in preheated oven.

Icing:

2 oz (60g) butter, softened
3 cups confectioners sugar, sifted
2 tbsp milk
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
A dash of salt

Preparation:

1. Whip butter in an electric mixer on medium speed for about 8 minutes or until it becomes creamy.
2. Pour in rest of the ingredients and continue blending them on low speed for a minute, then change the speed and keep mixing for another 6 minutes or until the mixture becomes light and fluffy. You can also add food coloring.

I used a flower tip to pipe on the tree design!

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The kids seemed to approve! ๐Ÿ™‚

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Finally, a little laugh to leave you with ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Merry Christmas from the Della-Colettas!

Elfin’ Shenanigans: Week Three

This whole week has been insanely busy! But, it IS the week before Christmas, so I shouldn’t be so shocked! Here are this week’s elf shenanigans in the Della-Coletta house!

Monday, Buddy was so excited for Aiden to return from his Grandparents’! So, he brought Aiden a few special treats!

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Tuesday was probably my favorite so far. Buddy painted Aiden’s nose red while he was sleeping! (I also videotaped this one, and it can be viewed on the NATM Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/notjustanotherteenmom )

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Wednesday, Buddy roasted some marshmallows over one of Mommy’s candles!

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Thursday, Buddy munched on some sugar cookies and juice, while reading “Twas the Night Before Christmas.” (Mommy’s favorite Christmas story)

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Friday, Buddy hung out with Mommy’s snowman by the fireplace. Too bad it was 65ยฐ here in NC and we couldn’t light it!

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Last but not least, we woke up this morning to see Buddy rocking out.

“The best way to spread some Christmas cheer, is singing LOUD for all to hear!” -Buddy

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Be sure to subscribe via email to see what I have planned for the LAST FOUR DAYS! Ahhhh!

And then I’ll be back to blogging about Aiden, my boring opinions, recipes, and crafts ๐Ÿ˜‰

Elf Diaries: #8

Buddy is currently spending the weekend at the North Pole while Aiden spends the weekend with his bio-Dad’s parents! ๐Ÿ™‚

Here are some photos from the rest of this week:

Buddy decided we needed to make cookies on Wednesday!

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Thursday, he replaced our stockings with Aiden’s underwear!

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And Friday, he took a relaxing marshmallow bubble bath!

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Make sure you subscribe to my blog for email updates! ๐Ÿ™‚