My child says some of the most ridiculous things. I often post them on facebook, but have been saving some of the best to share at once. Here are my favorites from this week:Mommy: Why is it so cold in this car?
Aiden: Well, I’m not a scientist, but isn’t the knob supposed to be on the RED side and not the blue side?
Aiden: Sometimes I pray to God.
Mommy: What do you say to him?
Aiden: Sometimes I thank him for my family, other times I thank him for not making my poop smell so bad. I’m full of poop.
Mommy: What happened to the rest of my tea, Aiden?
Aiden: …it must’ve emapovated in the sun when you weren’t looking.
Aiden: When Asher comes out, we’re going to snuggle for a while, and then we’re going to pray for a baby sister together.
Mommy: [after listening to A plan a playdate] …but how will he know how to get there?
Aiden: He will just have to tell his Mommy to goggle it. Obviously.
Aiden: I think I want to stay short forever.
Mommy: Why?
Aiden: Because if I get big, you won’t love my cute little booty butt anymore.
Aiden: Sometimes my farts stay in and go all the way up to my neck and turn into burps that don’t taste good.
Mommy: -coughing-
Aiden: Why are you coughing so much?
Mommy: I have an itch in my throat.
Aiden: Well, come here. I’ll just scratch it for you and then you can stop getting on my nerves with that coughin.
Aiden: Why do you have to go potty every time you stand up?
Mommy: Because when I stand up, brother falls onto my bladder. It’s what happens when you’re pregnant.
Aiden: Yeah. Pregnant and old.
Aiden: -laugh, laugh, snort, laugh-
Mommy: Why are you laughing so crazy?
Aiden: I’m laughing like a pig like you do. -Snort-
Mommy: Ready for bed?
Aiden: Have YOU seen Katy Perry yet? Because I haven’t.
Mommy: …
Aiden: YOU’RE GUNNA HEAR ME ROAR.