Things Aiden Says: Volume One

My child says some of the most ridiculous things. I often post them on facebook, but have been saving some of the best to share at once. Here are my favorites from this week:aidenseriesMommy: Why is it so cold in this car? 

Aiden: Well, I’m not a scientist, but isn’t the knob supposed to be on the RED side and not the blue side?

Aiden: Sometimes I pray to God.

Mommy: What do you say to him?

Aiden: Sometimes I thank him for my family, other times I thank him for not making my poop smell so bad. I’m full of poop. 

Mommy: What happened to the rest of my tea, Aiden?

Aiden: …it must’ve emapovated in the sun when you weren’t looking. 

Aiden: When Asher comes out, we’re going to snuggle for a while, and then we’re going to pray for a baby sister together. 

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Mommy: [after listening to A plan a playdate] …but how will he know how to get there?

Aiden: He will just have to tell his Mommy to goggle it. Obviously. 

Aiden: I think I want to stay short forever.

Mommy: Why?

Aiden: Because if I get big, you won’t love my cute little booty butt anymore. 

Aiden: Sometimes my farts stay in and go all the way up to my neck and turn into burps that don’t taste good. 

Mommy: -coughing-

Aiden: Why are you coughing so much?

Mommy: I have an itch in my throat.

Aiden: Well, come here. I’ll just scratch it for you and then you can stop getting on my nerves with that coughin.

Aiden: Why do you have to go potty every time you stand up?

Mommy: Because when I stand up, brother falls onto my bladder. It’s what happens when you’re pregnant.

Aiden: Yeah. Pregnant and old. 

Aiden: -laugh, laugh, snort, laugh-

Mommy: Why are you laughing so crazy?

Aiden: I’m laughing like a pig like you do. -Snort-

Mommy: Ready for bed?

Aiden: Have YOU seen Katy Perry yet? Because I haven’t.

Mommy: …

Aiden: YOU’RE GUNNA HEAR ME ROAR.

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