Have You Ever Wondered Why Moms Don’t Shower?

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So, up until this afternoon, I had no idea whatsoever what my contribution to this series would be. Then, I got the brilliant idea to take a quick shower while both Aiden and the little girl I care for were napping- an extremely rare occasion. I hadn’t washed my hair in two-ish days and the idea of a five minute shower sounded like the mom-equivalent of an all expenses paid vacation.

Aiden was snoozing in my bed, so I tiptoed past him, grabbed a towel and bolted into the bathroom. Peeked over my shoulder, and he was still snoring. Okay, I’m going for it.

So, I turn on the water, strip down and hop in. For a moment, I close my eyes and just take in the calm, peaceful silence. Clearly, what I’m experiencing is a slight taste of what Heaven will be like. Then, a sound simultaneously ruins my moment and nearly causes me to pee myself.

“HeHeHe.”

I whip around so quickly I almost lose my balance, and see none other than my three-year-old with this mischievous “up-to-something” face peeking around the shower curtain.

“OH WOW! WHO DREW THOSE LINES ON YOUR BELLY!?”

He’s referring, of course to the stretch marks that his own nearly ten-pound-infant-body left as a souvenir of pregnancy.

“AIDEN! GO LAY BACK DOWN!”

It was a shout more out of having the poo scared out of me, not so much out of anger. Though I was definitely frustrated.

“BUT MOMMMYYYYYYYYYYY, I NEEDA SHOWER TOO! I WANNA PLAY IN DA WATERFALL! CAN I PWEEEEEASEEE COME IN?!”

So naturally, I did what any other mom would do in a moment like this and resorted to bribery. Obviously.

“Aiden, if you go lay down and watch Wallykazaam, I will give you a popsicle when I get out.”

Naturally, I mean a super organic-Pinterest-homemade-fresh-fruit-popsicle that I made myself and NOT the fudgesicle hidden in the back of the freezer. Naturally.

“YAYYY! YOU DA BEST MOMMY EBER!”

I watch as he returns to the bed and then go back into the solitude of my vacation shower. It’s not nearly as stress-free now that I know that he is awake ten feet away, but still. It’s worth a try. I squirt the shampoo into my hand and began to lather up the mane that is my hai….

“I HABBBBB TOOOO POOOOOOOOOOOOOP!”

Of course you do.

“Ok, go ahead and use Mommy’s potty and I’ll help you in just a minute.”

I remove the fiery, painful suds that have now taken up residence in my eye socket. I regain my vision just in time to see a little head peeking around the curtain, again.

“I need help with my button..” 

I try to strategically reach around the curtain without causing the need to answer any more anatomical questions he may have. Successfully unbutton his shorts and watch him sit on the toilet. I feel like it’s safe to return to quickly wash my body. He is a man after all, even if he’s the smaller version. I’ve got time. I start to lather up and use the washcloth when…

“Uh, I fink I hab a problem.”

Totally something every mother wants to hear her child say.

“What kind of problem?”

“I hab an accident… your towel is wet. And your phone has pee sprinkles on it too.”

I peek around the curtain again to see that my towel is in fact soaked, as well as the rest of the floor, and my iPhone is in fact covered with “pee sprinkles.” Great. I’ll have fun explaining this one to the guys at the phone store, not to mention my Husband. I reach down and dry the phone with a non-pee-soaked area of the towel and toss it a safe distance from the bathroom. I tell Aiden to finish his business while I rinse off, and then I will help him.

I give up on even attempting to wash the remainder of my body and just begin to rinse off.

“Uh, Mommy? I fink my butt is empty. I just had to pee after all!”

I’m pretty much ready to scream at this point. Instead, I take a deep breath and tell him to put his undies (they were safely dry on the other side of the room) back on and hang out until I’m done. I finish rinsing off, turn off the water, and step out of the shower…

And directly into a puddle of pee. 

I wish I could say that this kind of thing doesn’t happen often, but I would be lying. It’s a daily occurrence. Not specifically the pee-puddle-stepping, but there’s always something. There are moments when I just want to scream out of pure frustration over Murphy’s Law taking effect, but then there are ten more moments like right now that make up for it. This little hot mess of mine is currently snuggled up to my side sleeping soundly as I type, because he “had a nightmare and needed to keep Mommy safe.”

Melt my heart, why don’t you?

All of the other moms have already said it, but I’m going to say it again for the sole reason of it being true. There is NO WAY to be a perfect parent. You WILL mess up. You WILL lose your temper. You WILL cry yourself to sleep. You WILL get overwhelmed. The way you learn from your mistakes is what defines you, not the mistake itself. I could’ve lost my temper with him today, and easily. But, instead I took a deep breath, cleaned the pee off of my feet, and then gave him a fudgesicle super organic-Pinterest-homemade-fresh-fruit-popsicle like I promised.

Something Mandy said in an earlier post this week really resonated with me. “Let your face speak what’s in your heart.” I want Aiden to always look at me and see the love that I have for ALL of him, even the parts that drive me nuts and cause me to step in fresh urine.

CIPTay

I’m Taylor! I’m the writer at Not Just Another Teen Mom, and I feel so blessed to have had all of these amazing moms guest posting this week. I encourage you to check them all out and read them carefully. Also, make sure to check out their personal blogs linked to their posts. 

HUGE Thank you to Lauren, Val, Amanda, Lila, Mandy, Bridget, Calli, & Katie. Be sure to click their name to be directed to their post. 

For my Pinterest, click here.

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