11 Things Moms Should NEVER Say.

I have a million things going through my head this week and feel like I may EXPLODE if I don’t do some blog-venting.

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In the three and a half short (long) years that I have been known as “Mommy,” my role has changed about five times.

First, I was a teen mom. (Not to be confused with one of those girls on MTV.)

Second, I was a kinda-sorta-stay-at-home-mom-full-time-student. (Yeah, it was as exhausting as it sounds.)

Third, I became a single-working-full-time-student-Mom. (Also exhausting.)

Fourth, I became a non-single-almost-married-full-time-working-mom. (Still exhausting, but what part of parenting isn’t? It’s all worth it.)

Now, I’m a stay-at-home-Mom-and-wife. (And I am soooo thankful that I’m able to do so.)

I’ve been pretty much every type of mom there is at least once, so maybe that’s why I really, REALLY hate the so-called “Mommy-Wars” that exist between all of the “sides.”

There shouldn’t even be “sides.” Just Moms.

The SAHMs think the working moms choose to be away from their kids, the working moms think the SAHMs are lazy and sit around eating bonbons and watching shows on Netflix all day.

The crunchy moms think the silky moms are killing their children slowly with cow’s milk and crying it out, and the silky moms think the crunchy moms are just a bunch of hippies who walk around with their amber necklaces and milk-filled breasts preaching about knowing better and doing better.

Moms with more than one child think that moms with only one have it so easy, and moms with one think the moms with many are being overly dramatic because it can’t possibly be that hard, right? The Duggar’s have 19. They survived.

Me? I float around somewhere in the middle of each of these. I cannot stand to see a mom put another mom down because she is choosing to parent a different way.

Here are eleven Mommy-War comments that I’ve personally heard a mom say to another mom, and sometimes to me!

1) You’re not breastfeeding? You know how bad formula is, right? (Breast is best, sure. But it’s not always the BEST option for every mom.)

2) He sleeps in your bed? How do you and your Husband/Partner ever have sex?! (None of your damn business, that’s how.)

3) You circumcised him? How could you mutilate your perfect little boy like that? (Again, it’s not your business, so don’t ask.)

4) You DIDN’T circumcise him? Imagine how he’s going to feel in that locker room in fifteen years! (See number 3.)

5) You let her cry it out? Do you know how emotionally abusive that is to your baby? How will she know you love her? (CIO, when done the right way, helps some moms/babies establish a normal sleeping pattern. It’s not for everyone, and it’s not your business.)

6) You’re going back to work? Do you WANT to miss all of her biggest milestones? (Thanks for the salt in the wound.)

7) You’re a stay-at-home Mom? So what do you do all day? (Let me stop doing what I do for a week and show you.)

8) You’re a single mom? Why did you even have kids of you weren’t going to stay married/together? (Yes, someone really asked me that. Because clearly I PLANNED on becoming a single mom at 20.)

9) You’re a silky mom? So you knowingly let your kid(s) have cow’s milk/fruit juice/produce from WAL-MART? (God forbid he have those Walmart-apples.)

10) You’re home schooling? So you know your kid is going to be an introvert/weirdo right? (Or possibly brilliant from the one-on-one.)

11) PUBLIC SCHOOL? Do you want him to SURVIVE until eighteen? (I mean, algebra is hard…but not lethal.)

WHY do we as moms feel the need to belittle other moms for doing things differently? WHY is our way the only way?

WHY can’t we just end these Mommy-Wars and get back to raising all of our happy and healthy children?

13 thoughts on “11 Things Moms Should NEVER Say.

  1. I’m a 21-year-old mom and we’re about to have our 2nd baby this March. i strongly agree, we don’t need to belittle others because of their choices, we just need to respect that. good thing no one asked those questions to me yet.

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  2. I have heard all of those and more and still cringe wen I hear other moms telling such stories. Like u said…it’s none of your damn business! And ur exactly right.

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  3. This sounds like one big annoyance. What does it matter how someone raises their kid? If they aren’t abusing them then people need to mind their own business!

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  4. One of the biggest mom wars I see daily is with my friend or just on Facebook/ social media in general. She is adopting over seas and has two boys and one on the way. I don’t see how she does it but I always hear people saying she shouldn’t be doing that! She can have kids why is she adopting? Why is she adopting an African American child, do they know what that will do to the child? So what! I praise her for what she does because she has four kids and they are all Gods children and that’s all that should matter!

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  5. I became pregnant at 17, single mom at 18… and am just recently married at 30 and my daughter is now 12. I totally understand what you are saying here, especially the comment about having a child when you dont plan on staying with your partner. I didn’t plan that! πŸ™‚ Moms need to bond with other moms, even if they are parenting a whole different way than you are. Being a mom is the same to every mom, we are all moms, we all deal with crying babies, sleepless nights, sickness, and for older kids, bullying, first dances, hormones… oh the hormones, ugh! we just need to support each other. Just because one mom is parenting one way, doesnt mean you have to, just be supportive.

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  6. This was a really great post! Just got done reading up on your blog actually and had a quick question. I was hoping that you could email me back when you get the chance. Thanks!

    Emily : )

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  7. I absolutely love your blog and find a lot of your post’s to be exactly
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